A cartoonist's review of his magical space car

The Oatmeal has a cartoon/article – “What it’s like to own a Tesla Model S – A cartoonist’s review of his magical space car”.

Now, I love The Oatmeal. Funny stuff. And I like the idea of a Tesla (never driven one so I can’t say much more than that). But his love of his Tesla may be blinding him to some things.

He says:

After seven months and 4,000+ miles, any “range anxiety” i used to have has been completely quelled.

Of course it has. If you are only driving an average of 19 miles a day, there’s no need for range anxiety.

I use Tesla’s supercharger stations if I’m planning a long trip.

If he’s only driven 4K miles in seven months, what would he define as a “long trip”?

I have the 85kwh battery which I can go up to 260 miles on a single charge.

I don’t know about any of you but I would regularly drive that far on my motorcycle just to go get coffee. 500-600 miles/day were not unusual. In a car, I could do that “charge distance” several times in one day.

My Model S can go from 0-60 in five seconds.

That is great acceleration but my motorcycle did it in 3.8. 🙂

I want an app that makes race car noises when I accelerate.

You know what makes race car noises when you accelerate? A fucking race car…

In referring to a friend who has solar panels on his house and, therefore, his Tesla is being being charged via sunlight:

What I find insanely wonderful about this is that technically my friend is now driving a car which is powered by the motherfucking sun.

Yeah. Technically, WE ALL ARE.

In a knock ostensibly directed at the internal combustion engine:

It’s like driving around in a miniature power plant, or owning a television set that needs to be topped off and then pull started.

Wait…WTF? Your Tesla has a “miniature power plant” in it and it most certainly needs to be topped off – and even more frequently (and more slowly) than a gasoline powered car.

Don’t get me wrong – I know electric cars are our future and, for the most part, I welcome that future. But I’m also a realist and don’t want people to think it’s all going to be all candy canes and lollipops.

Would I buy a Tesla? No. At $70,000, there are cars that are just as good performance wise that will take me on much longer trips than a Tesla.

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