First of all, Happy Father’s Day to those of you who are celebrating.
Many of us can’t, for any number of reasons. Here are mine.
If you’ve followed me or this blog for a while, you may have read this post from August 28, 2012 – “So…this happened yesterday…”. Read that for context.
Now, keep this in mind: “I wish she had been open and honest with me about a lot of things.”
Turns out, a lot of what you read in “So…this happened yesterday…” was a lie. Not a lie from me, I’m as open and as honest as I can be, but a lie from my mother’s lips.
As she explained, she got pregnant with me out of wedlock. My “real father” was killed in a car accident before I was born. Daddy Dave was a friend of both of them who “stepped up” to take care of her and me. He eventually officially adopted me which is why I (proudly) carry the King name.
A few weeks ago, I got a Tweet from a complete stranger. A woman named Cathy.
“Shawn King, I have a few questions I thought you could help me with. Could you message me privately?”
Always wary of scammers, I tweeted, “Who are you?”
“I think I might be related to you”.
Yeah – definitely a scam.
I wrote back, “LOL and what makes you say that?”
She writes, “If you know your biological father I am wrong. If you do not I have some information.”
She emails me. I’m guarded but….she knows shit….
Long story short, the story my mother told me, the one I wrote about in that piece after my mother died….
WAS A COMPLETE FUCKING LIE….
Worse, my mother lied about lying to me…Jesus Christ….
My biological father didn’t die until 2011. I’ve got three other (half) siblings – two more sisters and a brother. Good news is, I’m still the oldest…. 🙂
So my mother and the “Daddy Dave” in the story were married. Apparently, she had an affair and got pregnant by my biological dad.
And get this….ALL three of them – biological dad, Daddy Dave and Daddy Mike – were all on the same Canadian Navy ship at the same time! So my mom was a bit of a slut. 🙂
Apparently, my biological father died a long, slow painful death but, before he died, he made my (new half) sister promise to find me. This was in 2011.
Hey dad – you knew my name…GOOGLE IT!
It’s amazing I can have two parents so fucking stupid.
My mother for not telling me about this shit until I was 25, my father for not contacting me before he died, and my mother AGAIN for lying about the lie and then having the nerve to die on me without explaining it all!
To the only father I knew until I was ten years old, Mike McKinstry. You were British (from Manchester, England), funny, taught me “kid stuff” (how to throw and catch a football, how to play baseball, how to kick a soccer ball (I never did get the hang of that)), gave me an interest and fascination with European History, always wanted me to do my best and helped me with my homework. Thanks Mike.
To the father I first met when I was ten, David King. I hope you tried your best. I admired you for your work ethic and how you provided for your family. Your daughter Melonie is a wonderful young woman and your son David is a great family man with sons of his own. I hope you’ve found the peace you didn’t seem to be able to have in life.
To the father I never knew, Terry Leonard. My “new” sister has told me a lot about you. Not all of it good. I wish you had reached out before you passed away so I could have gotten to know you even a little. Cathy tells me I look like you and that you would have been proud of the man I’ve become. I don’t know about that but I hope it’s true.
To all my friends who are fathers, cherish it. It’s the most important job you’ll ever have.