How to survive a five-hour plane flight in a wheel well

Vox has the story of “How to survive a five-hour plane flight in a wheel well” about the idiot 16 year old in California who inexplicably stowed away on the outside of a plane bound for Hawaii.

The title of the article made me laugh – is this really “advice” we should be putting out there!?

But the best line comes later in the story:

trauma surgeon Kenneth Stahl said the teenager will probably have permanent brain damage from his experience.

I would argue this kid had permanent brain damage LONG before he jumped the fence at the airport.

It’s Time to Ditch the Booth Babes

TIME:

We need to ban the “booth babes.” It’s awkward. For me. Here I am wandering around, casting a lecherous gaze at this motorcycle or that coupe and I suddenly find myself making eye contact with an exploited model.

First of all, the muscles in my face aren’t developed enough to be able to configure themselves to telegraph a message of “I’m not lusting after you, pardon me for looking at you that way. I was lusting after that inanimate object six inches to your left.”

For the record, I don’t care whether booth babes are there or not. If they are, I will look briefly. I’m not a perv. I’m a fairly normal red blooded heterosexual male, after all.

But this guy saying, “I can’t help myself!” makes him sound like a complete asshole. “I have no control over where my eyeballs go.” What kind of walleyed asshat is this guy that he can’t even look around a booth babe?

He calls himself a “business journalist working in New York”. New Yorkers are famous for their skills at looking the other way and minding their own business. Yet this guy somehow loses all control over his occipital muscles whenever a pretty girl wanders into his field of view? If that were true, he’d have been hit by a bus crossing the street years ago.

And why is he blaming the booth babes for “distracting” him or making him feel awkward? Man up and take responsibility for yourself and your actions.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand all the concerns about booth babes and the objectification of women. But this guy’s attitude of “blame the victim” is bullshit.

Yukari Iwatani Kane's "Haunted Empire" is as bad as you've heard.

I read the first paragraph of this except on Re/code and it literally stopped me in my tracks. I had to reread it several times to make absolutely sure I was getting the full effect of The Stupid. Here it is:

On the evening after the first iPhone went on sale, a couple dozen visiting designers from Samsung were dining at a Korean barbecue restaurant in San Francisco called Hanuri when a friend showed up with the device. The phone was locked, so the designers couldn’t see the home screen or open the applications. But it didn’t matter. They were impressed enough with the sleekness of the device and the elegant ease of swiping their finger to pull up the pass-code screen. They oohed and aahed as they made the gesture over and over again. They had never seen anything like it.

Do you see the problem?

Supposedly, a “friend” showed up with a brand new (it had gone on say that very day) iPhone. If that was the case, why couldn’t they unlock the phone? Where was the friend? Why couldn’t he do it? Wouldn’t he let them? Was it stolen? If they had access to the phone and access to the friend, WHY COULDN’T THEY USE THE PHONE!?

How does such an obvious oddity in storytelling get past the writer and any number of editors and fact checkers?

BTW, I read the rest of the excerpt so you don’t have to. Don’t bother.

A (bad) MacWorld/iWorld 2014 Expo Hall wrap-up

The Powerpage has been around a long time. Which begs the question – has it always been this clueless? (spoiler: yes)

Tom Hesser posted his MacWorld/iWorld 2014 Expo Hall wrap-up (let’s just ignore the intercap W because…sigh…) on Tuesday – a short three days after the show closes. Perhaps he banged his head in the interim. It would explain why he says:

The first day, Wednesday, was my traditional walk around the show floor.

The show floor opened on Thursday.

Hesser mentions some missing vendors like Mophie without pointing out Mophie had already attended (the much bigger) CES show in the iLounge Pavilion.

It would be interesting to find out if there were specific reasons for some of these changes or it was just a matter of timing. The Expo, occurring much later in the year than normal, may have had some affect on attendance.

Yes, it would. Did you ask them? Have you sent an email or called any of the companies you mentioned asking them why they didn’t attend Macworld Expo this year?

In regards to the software developer section, Hesser says:

these areas are populated by cylindrical kiosks that can accommodate one company/developer per side…

I’m no geometry whiz but…how many sides does a cylinder have?

In response to why Hesser believed these small kiosks were popular, he says:

This area was created as the result of a couple of factors. One, the economy was cutting tech budgets, but not conference booth fees. After 2009 when Apple dropped out of Macworld Expo, vendor attendance began to drop off…Smaller spaces meant a lower priced option and the return of smaller vendors.

True. But, if that’s the case, why wouldn’t the vendors who had been there in the past taken up residence in those spaces? If it was simply a cost measure, you’d think the companies who left after Apple did would come back, wouldn’t they?

Yes – If it was only about costs. The lack of vendor attendance is about a lot of issues – cost only being one.

This year saw a number of new developers as well as some well-known ones who seem to have elected for the smaller, cheaper spaces

Hesser either doesn’t know or ignores the fact IDG has, in the past, restricted these small booths to developers who hadn’t attended the show in previous years. These booths were smaller and cheaper and designed to tease developers and companies to come to the show. They also wouldn’t allow vendors to show in that small space two years running. Obviously, with companies like AgileBits, Readdle, and BusyMac there, IDG has changed that policy. I wonder why that would be? (actually, no I don’t…)

I could list a ton of products old, new, or improved that I saw, but that would be a bit crazy.

Umm…why would that be crazy?

…throughout the show flow.

Sigh.

The people are still there, but in fewer numbers.

That’s just shitty writing. And it’s what you get when you send the “West Coast Correspondant” to the show.

Sad little "Macworld/iWorld 2014 in pictures" slideshow


Macworld/iWorld 2014 in pictures

Macworld|iWorld is a three day event. Macworld magazine (owned by the same company that runs the expo show and conference), could only manage to post less than 20 pictures of the show.

The picture above (slide #2) is representative of the show and the coverage. The caption is, “Taken one hour before the show floor opened to the general public. As the minutes tick away, hundreds of people gather at the entrance.”

AND YOU DIDN’T TAKE THE PICTURE OF THE “hundreds of people” FOR WHAT REASON?

Note also that Macworld the magazine can’t even get the name of Macworld|iWorld correct.

Slide #7: “The company made its debut with a small, non-descript booth at last year’s Macworld/iWorld. A lot has changed in a year.” Look at that picture. It seems like it now just a larger but still non-descript booth.

Slide #10: A windows manufacturer. No, not as in Personal Computers. As in real life windows for your home. WHY!? Why are they at the show? Why has not one single member of the circle jerking Mac Media gone up to them and asked that very simple question?

Man gave $70,000 to man he met on OkCupid is now suing the dating site

NY Daily News:

A Queens man skewered by Cupid’s arrow is suing online dating service OkCupid.com after a failed relationship that started on the site set him back over $70,000.

The sheer stupid insanity of this is mind boggling.

This guy gave a complete stranger $70 THOUSAND DOLLARS after meeting him on the dating site but never having met the person and having only spoken to them by phone.

I’m sorry you lost your money pal but YOU’RE A MORON.

The somewhat interesting part is – after reading the sparse details, he just might have a case.

But still…moron…

Jim Dalrymple and Keith Urban

Facebook.

My close personal friend, Jim Dalrymple, was down in Austin, Texas this past week attending the SXSW iTunes Music Festival. He apparently had a great time.

His lovely wife Monique posted this video on Facebook.

Now – leave aside how completely out of place Jim looks at a Keith Urban concert (or, for that matter, anywhere outside of a hardcore biker bar), there are a couple of things to note in this video.

At 1:28, Urban has climbed up into the crowd to play. You can see Jim on the right. He’s really easy to spot. He’s the biker looking dude who, quite simply, CAN’T DANCE.

But he’s obviously having fun, even though, as you can see by the video, he’s surrounded by douchebags who just want to get on camera.

At 3:26, Urban finishes the song, signs his name on the guitar he’d been playing and goes to hand it to Jim. A little backstory – Jim has been in Austin interviewing some of the people and bands playing at the festival. He had interviewed Willie Nelson and Urban earlier in the day.

WATCH THE DOUCHEBAG STEAL THE GUITAR FROM JIM.

I wonder if that guy is lying dead in an Austin ditch right now.